it was just yesterday that I thought of how the pieces of shit leeches just don’t go away. no matter how much they suck out of you and how much they praise you afterwards, they’ll just be back for more the next day. however, I made the mistake of assuming that I am permitted to just make observations and find things somewhat interesting, and when I was brutally mobbed and thought-raped when I went outside today I was reminded that the police state will also coerce you into taking these pieces of shit seriously, because they must leech.

the pieces of shit cut off everything in your life, restrict everything, stalk you everywhere, leave you with nothing, then somehow find ways to take even more from you, and then they try to provoke you in various ways, because they’re just so cool, although if you ever step out of line they’ll be the ones to call the police on you.

other things that are happening in my life: I am being shunned, I am being discriminated against, I work but am not permitted to have money. it has become a matter of shame to even enquire if there is anyone interested in buying my art as my relationship with them is a relationship with a block, and my relationship with the block has not been so good ever since the block has cut off everything in my life. moreover, they don't want me to have money right now, as that would encourage me being able to do anything other than nothing, and so the block doesn't seem to be on the path of ever stopping to shun me. also: I receive electric shocks all over my body. this happens all the time, but seems to be intensified when I do such things as read or write something on the internet, or think. an equivalent to this cannot be found in all your written history, only in some of your movies, which are generally considered dark. anyone care? no, it's only these nazi pieces of shit everywhere. they drain the meaning out of anything I say because no one listens, and make it so there is no point in even trying. In the past I had even been persecuted and disciplined for such acts of speech which while stating the truth about our society, do wildly stray from the dictations of the Ministry of Truth which deny the truth of anything true. moreover, there is a herd-ideology at work to make such statements a matter of shame and ridicule, and to designate them as lunacy. it seems to me that those who deny the truth of anything true, and claim that this society is something that it's not, may not be the best judges of lunacy though. it is expected of me to constantly make modifications in everything due to them being pieces of shit, and if I try to change anything favourably, I am confronted with them being pieces of shit, and so only I should constantly make concessions to them.

the pieces of shit drain the meaning out of everything, and since they insert themselves into every area of my life they drain the meaning out of everything in my life. when they've done this for long enough, suddenly they'll be put on the side of meaning and they'll say: you are one to whom nothing means anything, how did that come about? (and they honestly won't know the answer to that..). for instance, when I speak of living in a society filled with nazi pieces of shit, this may sound like a light and casual remark, but is actually not meant as such.

after going to great lengths to take away your freedom of speech, it's a little surprising to then find that it's unacceptable to not talk to them. although their ideology denies anything that's happening in this world and in your life, if you say nothing around them they begin making fun of you KKK-style. but why talk to these idiots? not only do I have to listen to their ideology and be told that all the oppression I undergo is not taking place, but they'll even turn my beliefs into ideology and only be capable of understanding them as such. they create contexts and then put me in their contexts and hold it against me that I don't fit favourably in these contexts. if I say nothing they'll even put my silence in the context of whatever they happened to be talking about, and hold that against me. I must always struggle against them because they are always nazi pieces of shit, yet it is constantly reaffirmed that there is no hope of them ever possessing any understanding or tolerance, that they will always operate as a collective and a system against me with everyone on the same side, and they will always turn a blind eye and especially at those times when I have nothing. no matter how absurd what they do, they will always all do the same things at the same time.

for those who are not really there, they are certainly always there, and I've made it plain I wish they just weren't. yet they somehow seem to have some sort of notion that I must constantly prove myself to them. if they are there to restrict my freedom, it would seem to be my place to try to expand it. however, when they restrict my freedom they seem to expect me to partake in restricting my own freedom, because maybe that will increase me in their eyes, while they still don't go away.

the entire piece of shit population is constantly judging every little thing in my life, but the fact that the entire piece of shit pupulation is constantly judging every little thing in my life is not treated as anything unusual.

it's difficult to see how replicated their methods of exploitation are when you are undergoing them. they'll even tell you that you say the same things over and over again, which itself is true, but is quite taken out of context when they deny inflicting the same abuses on you over and over again. for years you've endured these abuses until you began to seek ways to mitigate them, but the thought-police-leeches will simply deny these have ever taken place, and will label the very act of you trying to mitigate them as the instigation of all hostility, which even justifies shunning you and discriminating against you (which they've been doing long before I ever tried to mitigate their abuses). thus they drain your desire to talk to them and listen to how normal a society this is and how all the things you observe and undergo are to be denied. at the same time the population has also drained your desire to even go outside, because despite what they tell you in words, their methods of leeching will be much less effective if they don't act like they know you as long as you are trying to stand up for yourself (whereas if you are down and they are kicking you, it may be more effective for them to act like they don't know you). you are surrounded by relentless leeches, and even more unfortunately they are completely insane. your financial situation, social life, quality of living, and every aspect of your relationship with the entire monopoly and collective is completely determined by the thoughts you are thinking. no one seems to see anything wrong with this.

I am subjected to extreme forms of brutality if I pay attention as well as if I don't pay attention, and if I exercise my freedom of speech as well as if I don't. it is made to seem that when I am policed, it's because I did something wrong (or thought something wrong). of course, it is perceived by that which polices that in every situation there is only one right thing to think. and it is a matter of great shame if I have thought the wrong thing. it is understandable that I am being shunned, and it is a casual matter that I am surrounded by nazis, and I shouldn't even bother to expect to be able to go anywhere without being harassed, and no one owes to tell me the truth about anything. but the eyes are on me, and I must conduct myself and my thoughts appropriately, and behind it all I am to believe there is someone who understands, and commits endless bullshit against me so that I can recognize it as such and say: 'what bullshit'.

whatever I do, the pieces of shit will be there to oppose it. but because if I was doing the opposite they would oppose that as well, then I am really doing the opposite of what they would oppose if I was doing the opposite of what I'm doing, so I'm really just doing what they want me to do, and so I should only take the position where opposing the opposition means doing nothing, and just keep doing that. if I try to make them stop being pieces of shit, I will be reminded that there is no point in doing that anyways, and then I will forget altogether that they are pieces of shit, because there is no point in even thinking about them. soon after, they'll have to remind me that they are still pieces of shit, but by then I will have partially regained hope that there is a point in trying to make them stop being pieces of shit. etc.

the only area where they practice any honesty is their faces. if I talk to them they tell only lies and even laugh at me if I don't subscribe to their shared ideology. so I look at their faces, and that's what they exploit next. it begins with anger that I undergo extreme torture and brutality and society turns a blind eye, or more often participates, and laughs at me for it, and it ends with the fear of being further persecuted if I even dare to bring it up and challenge the ideology which denies any of it happens and which everyone shares. if I write about it, they are so indifferent that the focus ends up being that I write, rather than what I write.

the pieces of shit make you realize that there is just no point in dealing with them, but they don't ever leave you alone. they will refuse to have a relationship with you, and will do so unanimously as a society, and they will refuse to not have a relationship with your life which will be of a type undesired by yourself. whatever you try to do, they will go to great lengths to destroy and drain all your desire and energy for it, and even send their top boids with custom propaganda designed for this purpose. when they've managed to kill whatever you were doing and convince you there is no point in it, they'll coerce you to keep doing it even if you don't want to. then, if you try to do anything, you will be labeled as one coerced into doing it, and so you've lost that freedom as well. basically, they ruin your life.

the more they prove to be completely useless and not able to be reasoned with, the more I understand their irrelevance to my life and the unjustifiability of them being anywhere, and so I try to be left alone, and they never permit it. sometimes they'll admit to being useless for a while, and when I've managed to have some space of my own, suddenly they'll insert themselves and claim to be creatures with reason and judgments, destroy this area of my life, coerce me into dealing with them, make my entire life revolve around them, prove to me they are useless and unreasonable, then shun me, harass me everywhere, drain my desire to do anything or go anywhere, destroy even the things in my life that were already there before they came along, and leave me to the pursuit of being left alone, which if accomplished they will destroy.

they limit your life to the absolute maximum, and then somehow find ways to limit it even more.

everywhere I turn it's these identical pieces of shit.

whenever a short period of time passes, the pieces of shit involve themselves in my life and restrict it according to my thoughts.

and if I don't feel like paying attention, then I'm not permitted to pay attention: the pieces of shit will become involved in my thoughts whenever I pay attention. and if I don't like them, then I'm not permitted to ever do anything except spend every moment hating them, and if they ever catch me not thinking about them they'll have to violate my rights, and this indeed works: every time they violate my rights I must think about them and hate them.

the pieces of shit will often try to convince me that I'm guilty of things of which I'm not guilty (often these will be the very things for which I'm actually praiseworthy). so all I have to do is see through their lies right? no, they'll have to become even more unified and even more identical to each other, and go to even greater extremes to stalk me everywhere I go, and eventually I'll have to also believe their lies. they won't stop until they've destroyed anything that's in my life, and this is expected to be accomplished by the sheer shame I am supposed to feel before the unanimous and disgusting mob which terrorizes me, because they say so.

I know in advance that they are on principle always wrong and there is no point in even paying attention to them. but they force me to pay attention so that I'll have to analyze just in what way they are wrong and once again justify myself to them. this is nothing new: they act like a herd and they use tactics such as outcasting and shaming in order to discourage points of view that are divergent or have any originality. if what you say is not corroborated by great multitudes or anyone at all, this will not sit well with the herd. yes, there was no point in even paying attention to them, but of course they forced me to.