for those who are not really there, they are certainly always there, and I've made it plain I wish they just weren't. yet they somehow seem to have some sort of notion that I must constantly prove myself to them. if they are there to restrict my freedom, it would seem to be my place to try to expand it. however, when they restrict my freedom they seem to expect me to partake in restricting my own freedom, because maybe that will increase me in their eyes, while they still don't go away.